artwork, Autism, depression and anxiety, mother creative, mothering littles, self care, textiles

Slow Start and Good Intensions

February is nearly over. Thank goodness. But what I intended to be a one month off in December has snowballed into three. Guess I needed it.

Creating while being a mother is hilarious.

Creating while your kids’ schedules constantly change because of a pandemic and weather is annoying AF.

Creating while also being autistic and very possibly ADHD is fascinating.

Creating while living with depression and anxiety is not possible.

Creating while living with multiple, sort of mild, health conditions that are disrupting your life just enough to go beyond inconvenient while also draining you of the very last bits of energy you’ve got left while also being on waitlists from doctors, and given the runaround on when and how things will improve is soul sucking.

Put them all together and I’m just a shell. A shell who can barely be present and never consistently even for myself.

So now with spring approaching, I’m trying, all the time to find a new balance of life while letting life just swirl around me.

I realize much of this may not make sense to anyone but it’s really all just to say I’ve been struggling. And every day I try to do something more or different or meaningful and it usually doesn’t work but I keep trying anyway.

Wanting to create while also dealing with endless obstacles is a creative endeavor in of itself.

3 thoughts on “Slow Start and Good Intensions”

  1. I see a lot of creating going on – jello, knitting lights, child in box, child with play-doh, holiday decorations, not a bit of idle time sweetie!

    1. You are beautiful in every way that matters. You are not a “shell”. You are more whole and real than most people I know. ❤️

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